Wink Photography

April 24 2010

The final countdown

This may be the first and last time I appear on my own blog. But I wanted to avoid falling into the common trap of being the professional photographer who never has any photos to look back on of herself,  just of everyone around her. And I need to get all these thoughts down somehow, so what better place to do it.

In these last few days of my pregnancy I’m doing a lot of thinking, worrying, planning, doubting, waiting, crying, laughing, and mostly reflecting. I’m sure this is common for first time parents, but I was an emotional person before I got pregnant….so with all these extra hormones, it’s out of control.

However, I also know that I’ve never before felt so relaxed, confident, and comfortable in my own skin. (which is surprising considering the strain this skin is under these days!) It’s something you can never possibly comprehend until you go through it, I was totally caught off guard.  If pregnancy has affected me this much,  I can’t even begin to imagine what being a parent is going to do to me.

It hasn’t been an easy pregnancy, but for some reason I’m having a lot of trouble coming to terms with letting go of it. Am I really going to miss the sore hips, the heartburn, the dizzy spells, the fatigue? I think in a sick way I might. I’ve never before felt so much purpose in life. I’m accomplishing something even when I’m just sitting on the couch watching TV. To think that just underneath my skin is a little life growing and getting stronger every day. (And hopefully developing excellent taste in music, thanks to the ipod headphones in my waistband). I know the baby that will soon be breathing, eating, and crying is in there, but it’s still so hard to believe. Of course I’m thrilled to soon have a baby to hold in my arms, rather than one that’s kicking my ribs and compressing my lungs, but this a closeness and comfort that I’ve grown rather fond of.

Last week David and I took a little stroll in our new neighbourhood to get a few shots of me before it all becomes a distant memory.



This shot is by no means a work of art, but I found it very fitting that at such a pivotal time in my life, nature is mirroring my own body art. I got this tattoo of cherry blossoms with green leaves to represent appreciating the moments in life that are so fleeting. The period of time when these trees have both lush blossoms and green leaves is gone in the blink of an eye.



what i know:

  • it’s a girl (so we’re told).
  • she will be very stylish, thanks to my apparent addiction to buying very tiny Mary Tyler Moore clothing.
  • she refuses to turn around, so will be removed from her comfortable little nest either tomorrow or on the 30th.
  • she will be loved.

the unknown:

  • is not so scary anymore.

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  • lesleyApril 24, 2010

    You’re so cute, good luck with your little one!! 😀

  • LauraApril 24, 2010

    Jana you look radiant!! You are very wise to take these pictures of yourself, you will love to look back on them!

    I had no idea you were having a girl! Woohooo!

    And WOW you may have her tomorrow! I look forward to meeting her one day or in the meantime see some beautiful pics!

    All the best!


  • Cathy EmpeyApril 24, 2010

    Beautiful post Jana! You look absolutely beautiful! All the best to you! It is going to be the most amazing day in your life. The day you see your baby for the very first time. Magical.

    Good luck! I cannot wait to see photos of your family!!

  • BeckyApril 24, 2010

    Hi Jana, I’m one of Britt’s co-workers, I realize we don’t know each other but as you already know this post brought tears to my eyes! I just thought it was so real and inspirational (for lack of a better word!). I’m not at that point in my life but this insight makes me excited for when that time does come. It was also the fact that given so many children aren’t brought into ‘ideal’ circumstances reading about how excited someone is to love and care for the child they bring into this world is refreshing. Congratulations and good luck for tomorrow!


  • LennoreApril 24, 2010

    awwwww…….Jana………you are adorable….. I loved being pregnant as well, mind you my health was never better when I was pregnant. I only got one pic of pregnancy and regret not getting the other two. Giving birth and holding that magnificant little ones was so overwhelming and wonderful, I would do it over again today if I could. Luv to the three of you, soooooooooooo looking forward to seeing the progress over the next little while…….:)

  • LouisaApril 28, 2010

    Jana, thanks so much for sharing both your photos and thoughts about the last days of your pregnancy. I have been wondering how you have been doing. So exciting that you will be meeting your little girl in the next couple of days! Best wishes.

  • Michelle DixonApril 28, 2010

    Beautiful photos!! I know exactly what you mean about being comfortable in your skin during pregnancy… theres just something about it… you certainly have that pregnancy glow… good luck to you 🙂

  • Liz LeesMay 30, 2010

    It’s amazing the moment when you understand so this is what my body was for. You will miss being pregnant (just the good parts.) And you’ll never look at a heavily pregnant woman the same again. lol

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